The Smalls Report XXIX
A Tale Finally Told
We are the Smalls Brothers
Our Mission: Free mother from prison
Our Slogan: No Come-Uppance!
Last report, I mentioned that our excursion to Black Rock Depths was of particular significance to us. To understand why, it is necessary to relate to you a brief history.
Once upon a happier time, the Smalls clan and the Bronzebeard clan were great allies. The Bronzebeards entrusted many of the Smalls to positions of import in the running of the Kingdom.
Sorkell Smalls, Chieftain and Thane of the Smalls clan, like many other noble lords of the Dwarves, held title to various fiefdoms within the kingdom, one such being “Lord of Kharanos”.
Sorkell’s first wife was Thyra Garok. Sadly, she died in child birth. The Chieftain of the Garoks, hoping to keep his political ties had offered another daughter, Maba, to Sorkell as wife, but Sorkell felt it disrespectful to the memory of Thyra to take her younger sister in marriage.
Sorkell, in time, took Smallina of Red Ridge as his second wife. The union brought issue, Smallina provided Sorkell with many heirs.
Too soon in their life together, Sorkell Smalls, Chieftain and Thane of the Smalls clan, friend and confidant of Magni Bronzebeard, was killed in battle with the Dark Irons. His death was not in vain; his valorous actions helped the forces of Bronzebeards win the day.
Smallina was distraught and beside herself with grief. All the sons of Sorkell were far too young to hold the chieftaincy, so Sorkell’s younger brother, Woodbine N. Smalls was elected potentate of the clan. As Woodbine has no heirs himself, it is likely that he will name one of the son’s of Sorkell as his successor.
In tribute to Sorkell, Magni Bronzebeard made Sorkell’s widow, nanny and royal care taker to Magni’s only heir and daughter, Moira.
The sons of Sorkell and daughter of Magni were playmates as young children. King Magni was like an uncle to Sorkell’s sons, though he was around very infrequently as matters of state kept him from his daughter’s nursery often.
Many years past. As Moira grew into womanhood, so did Smallina’s role as her tutor and royal regent. While the priests instructed Moira on reading and healing craft, Smallina instructed Moira in all things a noble dwarf woman was expected to know, such as embroidery, brewing, protocol, and courtly manners.
Meanwhile, as the sons of Sorkell had grown to the proper age, They sent to various places to learn their professions and trades. Bulgar was sent to the royal guard, Hrazputin was apprenticed to the priestly order, Mosslight sent to the warrior monks for instruction, Dirtyrok was ushered to Stormwind to join SI:7 in an alliance exchange program, and Woodwylde sent to live with their uncle (and his namesake) Woodbine.
Some time before the brothers had completed a years training in their individual apprenticeships, Moira Bronzebeard was kidnapped by Dagran Thaurissan, King of the Dark Irons.
Using Bronzebeards grief and misfortune to his advantage, Thane Garok, who long resented the loss of his political connections by Sorkell’s rejection of his daughter Maba, poisoned King Magni’s ear against Smallina.
Garok claimed Smallina had plotted with the Dark Irons to arrange Moira’s abduction. Garok further spread rumors of Smallina having been a faithless cuckolding wife, and bearing the children of a Dark Iron lover instead of the progeny of Sorkell. He even went so far as to claim Smallina to be a Dark Iron infiltrator herself who robbed Sorkell of his battle wits and caused his demise against the Dark Irons.
Garok had arranged false witnesseses to swear to the hearing of damning conversations and manipulated any circumstantial evidence at hand to frame Smallina as completely as possible.
Woodbine Smalls defended his sister-in-law and refuted Garok, pointing out the claims as nothing more than the machinations of a greedy and power hungry dwarf.
Bronzebeard, blind in his grief and separated from his better judgment and wits, sentenced Smallina to rot in prison. Further, he condemned Woodbine as a shelterer of traitors, and stripped the Smalls clan of their titles and holdings.
“What of my sons? What of their rightful inheritance as the sons of Sorkell?” asked Smallina.
To which King Magni replied, “You and your clan are dispossessed. As to the Smalls brothers, they shall receive NO COME-UPPANCE!”
Woodbine was free to go but was unjustly branded with dishonor. The other members of the clan were systematically stripped of any title or position they had held in the kingdom. All retreated under the mark of false shame to more humble and inconspicuous occupations.
Smallina was taken away in irons to a place unknown.
Predictably, the Garoks grew in power and influence, occupying many of the offices formerly held by Smalls. The Garoks were given a prestigious role in maintaining the alliance and a new Dun was constructed by them for the defense of the Hillsbrad.
The “Defense Fund”
Bulgar was removed from the Iron Forge Guard and Dirtyrok was recalled from Stormwind. Both were deemed security risks. Woodbine wrote to Mosslight and Hrazputin, who left their holy orders to return and I, Woodwylde, was given leave by Uncle Woodbine and charged alongside my brothers to do what we can to right the injustice and expose the truth.
Thus is the history and plight we have suffered told.
All this time we have been adventuring and amassing money. This money was not to hire a lawyer to argue our case. This money has been for bribes of officials and paying for information. It has also been used in getting better equipment and training.
With the loss of Bronzebeard’s wits in regard to us, we had no illusions about obtaining our mother’s freedom and clearing our name though peaceful and rational means.
With our clan already being falsely marked with dishonor, the trick to securing our mother’s freedom and removing the blemish from our name is to do so without actually becoming traitors in the process and lending any credence to the unjust stigma placed upon us.
Breaking mother out of prison, though a likely and impending option, would certainly galvanize the cloud of dishonor upon us, even if its original application was unjust. Though as such, we were prepared to do so all the same and live the rest of our lives as true outlaws.
But then, we caught a break.
We received word that Magni Bronzebeard was growing more distraught over the kidnapping of his daughter and was seeking a team to attempt her release from the Dark Iron’s clutches.
With our training so advanced in preparation of facing down Bronzebeard’s guards and jailers, we thought it better to use our skills to rescue Moira. After all, like our mother, she was being held against her will, and she was a childhood friend, despite how her father may treat with us.
While our honor may have been in question in the Dwarven kingdom, our reputation as adventures was certainly not. Bronzebeard would have to take our offer seriously.
And what better way for the clan accused of the treachery which led to the abduction of Princess Moira than to kill her captor and free her?
Bronzebeard received us in his throne room reluctantly and tentatively. I believe he only admitted us because his curiosity got the better of him.
We told him we would free his daughter in exchange for our mothers release and the reinstatement of our honor.
There was some brief discussion and much whispering between his advisors. I can only imagine the mistrust and derision poured upon us in those secret words.
In the end, Bronzebeard finally spoke.
“What have I to lose? Either they succeed and I have my daughter back, or they fail and there are fewer Smalls running around yelling that ridiculous war cry.”
And with that, our bargain was made.
As Previously Reported
As you know from the last report, we had succeeded in assaulting Black Rock Depths and returned in one piece more or less. However it is only now that I relate to you the final events that transpired within the Emperor’s throne room before we took our leave of the place.
Moira Bronzebeard did not recognize us. It is no great wonder as it had been very long since she last had seen us. We are much more hardened and grizzled since our last parting.
Moira, wept over the body of Dagran.
We approached slowly, and finally, Hrazputin placed a gentle hand upon her shoulder and spoke:
“Princess Moira, we have come to take you home.”
“This is my home!” she shouted through angry tears, “You have killed my husband and father to my unborn child!”
We all stared at each other, dumbfounded. Talk about an awkward moment.
Finally, Mosslight spoke, “Hrazputin, um, maybe we should be going…”
At the mention of the name, her eyes squinted and she looked deeper into Hrazputin’s face. She slowly searched all our faces. Her look of anger and rage was replaced with one of recognition and then confusion.
“The Smalls brothers?” she asked.
“Yes, Princess, it is us,” said Hrazputin.
“But why? I don’t understand… why have you come here? Why would you do such a thing?” Moira asked.
We explained to her all that had transpired since she had last been in the mighty halls of Iron Forge. We explained our mother’s imprisonment, we explained how desperate her father was to see her returned safely, and we explained the bargain we had made to secure her release and reclaim our holdings.
Dark Iron Guards came rushing to the throne room, but the Princess waved them away. She regained her composure, and donned a regal air. She assumed the throne, and called for attendants to clear the carnage we had caused and remove the dead, giving specific instructions to her attendants on the treatment of the body of the former Emperor.
Though this be the hall of the Dark Irons, she held herself with a poise that any dwarf , be they of Iron Forge, Aerie peak or Black Rock, would have identified as dwarven royalty. This was no mere giggling princess anymore, but a queen whose gaze was as fixed as steel.
She called for pen and parchment. She wrote her father a letter, explaining her position, exonerating our mother from any wrong doing, and admonishing her father for “never listening and never being there for her”. She further told her father to send ambassadors if he had any further questions on that or any other matter. She apologized to us that her actions had resulted in so much trouble for us, and bid us to return should we not obtain the release of her beloved nanny.
We were escorted out of Black Rock and at length returned to King Bronzebeard. He gave us a confused and angry look, as we were neither dead, nor had we the Princess with us.
We delivered her letter and he read it.
“This is an outrage! I don’t believe it!” cried the king angrily.
For a moment we stood in panicked silence, and then Dirtyrok spoke:
“Don’t you know, Your Highness? The good girls always go after the bad boys to get back at daddy.”
The royal advisors all looked at each other, nodded and muttered in agreement.
The king slumped into his thrown and mumbled through his thick beard, “Your mother is being held in Dun Garok. Retrieve her from that lying scoundrel… if you can.”
On Wednesday, December 6th at 7:15pm, The Smalls Brothers will be raiding Dun Garok to free their mother.
Horde help will be required to scour the outpost and fight the guards.
Dirtyrok will stealth in and get word to Smallina, She will follow the first horde that /smiles at her until that horde falls, where she will stop until another horde /smiles at her to continue her on her way.
She will not move further north than the road through Hillsbrad, nor will she swim in the ocean. She will not continually back track and will only rez where she falls (should there be an accident).
Smallina will follow the horde out of the fort but will not pass any guard (alliance player or NPC) in the building. Because of the mutual protection pact between Dun Garok and South Shore, many of the Alliance may show up in Dun Garok’s defense.
Once outside, she will need to be escorted to Southshore, given her weakened condition, she will not pass by any beastie too close too her or defending alliance. She may also periodically collapse from exhaustion, if she does; she will need to be /poked.
Word is that the Flight Master of South Shore is on the Dun Garok payroll. The flight master will have to be “removed” once Smallina gets to the location, where she will wait for his replacement to show before she can fly off to safety.
((Stay alert for more information regarding this RP-PVP event!))
For the Smalls,