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Battle to the Left
Woodbine (SuperAdmin) 1/13/2007 8:33 AM EST : How to Join
Posts: 107

Application Guide and Procedures;
“Come Home” to the Smalls Clan

Thank you for your interest in the Smalls Clan!

We apologize if you were sent to this page rather abruptly or if this seems overly formal. We did not institute this procedure lightly and have found that it is an excellent gate keeper to ensure that the Smalls Clan remains a guild worth joining and being part of.

There are 5 steps to complete to join.

Embedded within the steps there
is a “password phrase”. It is not hidden. It’s made plain and obvious. It is how we can tell if you read carefully and can follow instructions. If you don’t learn the phrase, you don’t get in. No exceptions.

STEP 1: Consider and Commit, or Withdraw

We don’t want to waste time. Not yours and certainly not ours. We want you to make an informed decision about asking to join. To that end, we provide as much information as practical to help you.

This page endeavors to give an adequate depiction of what the Smalls Clan is about. Think of this process as more of a "conversation" rather than an "application".

It would be a daunting task to try and type all the following information in a live game chat window for every applicant, so for your convenience (and our sanity) we have put together this recruitment information page.

It’s far better for all involved to invest the time in some reading now than to find out you joined a guild that doesn’t cater to your play style or for us to expend effort on someone not fully committed and enthusiastic about what we offer.

We hope after taking the 15 or so minutes to read this page you either are fully confident in your decision to proceed or decide that this is not what you really wanted.


Any membership request that shows little to no effort to follow direction will be deleted without consideration. However, if you make an obvious effort to comply we will do our best to meet you half way.

This does not mean you get to do a “half-ass” job applying; you are expected to complete the process in full. “Meeting you half way” means we will help you if you get stuck or have questions or technical issues.

We don’t want to lose any good prospects to technicalities, but we also don’t want people who can’t be bothered to pay attention or do their best to follow directions. 

Joining up is an easy process.

The length of this article is our first filter to sort out the capricious, insincere, or easily daunted. If you are already tired of reading or disgruntled because we require this process... reconsider tendering an application. Otherwise, please do your best to read carefully and follow the instructions.

Plenty of folk have managed to complete this process before you. Read carefully, pay attention and make a sincere effort and you should do just fine. And believe us; it has taken far more effort to compose this membership process than it would ever take anyone to complete it.

STEP 2: Are you really a Smalls Clanner?

The Smalls Clan does not want members merely for the sake of increasing its roster. We want people that would enjoy and contribute to the atmosphere we strive to play in.

A member MUST be a Dwarf and a role player with an appropriate name. Further, potential recruits should be respectful and willing to contribute as they can.

Though we may disdain characters in an RP sense, we do our best to respect our fellow players behind those characters, be they horde or alliance.

You should be a team player and, at the same time, you should be able to make your own fun when others are occupied or unavailable.

This is not the guild for jerks, loot mongering, prima donnas, whining or drama queens or those with entitlement issues. You are expected to conduct yourself in a mature, amiable fashion at all times.

We have no age requirements or restrictions; however, many of us are older players who have been around since the dawn of video games. Our “out of character” conversations are often “mature” in nature. Younger players may be more comfortable in guilds with players around their own age.

We do not have any level requirements; however, since most of our players are well established it can be a bit lonely for a lowbie till they level up.

We do what we can to assist as appropriate but prefer our lowbies to pay their dues and earn their lumps, especially if it is your first or main character. Having said that, there are sometimes others around and we love to see our lowbies make efforts to help each other out as much as practical.

While we encourage people to level to end-game, if you wish to twink your character and hold to a certain level for battlegrounds, or simply want a character in the guild for role play purposes, that is perfectly acceptable, though we will still likely rib you for it for the sake of camaraderie.

The Smalls clan is very much a “You get out of it what you put into it” venture. If you are shy about participation, we will encourage you, but no one is going to force you. At some point, you will have to stand up from the bench and join the team.

As our latter members can attest to, if you make an effort to be a positive entity and participate with the guild, you will find yourself very easily included in our guild activities.

STEP 3: Do You Like To Do What We Do?

Our guild activity schedule is found on our front page. (Chiefly PvE on Sundays and Wednesday 6:30-10:30pm server time)

While we encourage participation on those days, please note that attendance is not mandatory, nor is membership predicated on your availability.


We employ a “Roll for raid slot” system that ensures that everyone who puts the time in to gear appropriately for a given challenge has an equal opportunity to raid. Those who are benched receive a “rain-check”, to be redeemed at a future raid, exempting them from having to roll. Even our guild master has to roll for a spot in a raid.

Because of our rotating raid attendance, our progression is much slower than more cut throat or hardcore raid guilds. The flip side is, we tend to enjoy the content much longer than those guilds that burn themselves out quickly.


At present we field several arenas teams and get together for regular battle grounds and occasionally “World PvP”

The Smalls Clan has friends within the horde. It is important both from a role play, consistency, and a survival aspect that you know what our position is and when it is proper to make war on an enemy.

Our stance is specified more fully in the article:
Disposition Toward the Horde

Role Play

We encourage role play, however, we are not elitist about it and do not have a bad session if someone slips or speaks out of character. Recruits need not be expert at role play.

Those new or curious to the role play aspect are welcome as role play is a skill that can be developed like any other.  In a nutshell, we are casual role-players and we venture into all aspects of the game with that as our modus operandi. 

Our role play style is simple and straightforward. We interact with the world around us (/say /yell or /emote) in character. Our guild channel is mixed in and out of character, that being, you are welcome and encouraged to role play and it is not out of place, however there will be plenty of out of character chat as well.

We are not high maintenance role players with all sorts of soap opera drama and convoluted plots. We are simply "Dwarf” role players. While we can be stern, grim, and vengeful, ultimately we do not take ourselves too seriously and appreciate the many sources of comedy and "drama" the game yields.

You do not need a back story to join the Smalls Clan. In fact, it may be better for you to think on it after you have had more of a chance to read other examples before crafting your own. However, to advance to higher rank within the guild, you will eventually need to have a back story. 

You are free to express yourself creatively so long as it does not contradict our established lore and does not get too overreaching, convoluted or ridiculous.

For a much more in-depth article on our role play style you should read the article: 
Role Play the Smalls Way


As optional reading you may read 
No Come-Uppance: A Brief History of the Smalls for a summation of our back story, or you may read the story in its original telling in Smalls Report XXIX: A Tale Finally Told which may be found in the Saga section of the forums. You are also encouraged to read the other great entries found interspersed therein as well.

If you are familiar with The Smalls Report, understand that being a Smalls is much less “glamorous” then the reports may portray. As a member of the Smalls you will be exposed to the rough, ugly workings "behind the scenes".

STEP 4: Learn the “MAGIC WORDS”

Below are the magic words that you need to learn to secure your invite to the guild. Without exception, it is crucial that you know them.  You don’t get in the guild without them. We can’t make it any planer than that. Memorize them, write them down, or copy and paste them if you need to:

I have read the archives and wish to reclaim my heritage.” 

STEP 5: Tender Your Aplication

Now that you know about us, it’s only fair that we know a bit about you.

At the end of this page there is a link to a short questionnaire for you to fill out.  We put it at the end because we dont want you to miss the following important comments and instructions.

This is not a job interview nor is it an English term paper, so relax.

Just the same “Leet-Speak”, “Net-Speak”, text message short cuts and incomprehensible typing are a distraction to the fragile RP atmosphere we pursue. Put some effort into spelling and grammar to make a decent impression.

The more comfortable we are reading your answers; the easier it will be to process your membership.

After you fill it out, you need to let us know that you did, otherwise your application may languish idle and unnoticed. There are two things to do to get our attention. Do both to ensure results:

1) Go to the in-game “guild finder”, apply to our guild with it, and type the magic words in as your comment.

2) Whisper a Smalls Clanner in-game and ask to speak to an officer. When you get hold of an officer, whisper the magic phrase to them.

If no one is online to speak to you, don’t worry. As long as you fill out the questionnaire and use the in-game guild finder as directed, someone will contact you when available.

Please note, though we may process your application offline, due to WoW limitations we must both be online at the same time in order to extend you a guild invitation.

Here is the link to the Questionnaire. Make sure you scroll all the way through and answer all the questions as best you can.

Boom. You’re done.

Characters: Woodbine Cantankerous Danegrim Rotharcog Woodwylde

Battle to the Right
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