Tucked away several pages deep in the morning edition of the Observer is the following short article:
Upstanding Citizens Found Murdered! Qeynosian Terrorism Suspected
A gruesome discovery was made very early this morning at the site of a small and long-standing local business in South Freeport, The Silus Brothers' Emporium. Witnesses report that at least four or five bodies were found inside, and one is thought to be business owner and upstanding Freeport citizen, Ramon Silus, well known in the business circles as being a talented man at acquiring certain always in-demand merchandise. Confirming Silus's death may be difficult, however, as it is reported that each body was left cleanly decapitated and in a state of composure, though signs within the building speak of a fight or a struggle. A member of our wonderful and powerful protectors, the Dreadnaughts--who wished to remain anonymous--stated that "All de goods were gone".
Was this a robbery gone terribly wrong? Unlikely! The Observer has it on good report from the same source that another decapitated body was found at the home of Ramon Silus's younger brother, who has helped run the family business since their father passed away. There was no sign of a struggle in the house.
One longtime acquaintance of the family noted to us that the merchandise specialty of the brothers' business had narrowed since they inherited it, but that the Silus brothers had stated they were turning out record profits. Beware, citizens! In these times of troubles and turbulation, foreign terrorists stalk our streets, looking to rob and murder us if we should ever let our guard down. Make certain that you report any suspicious activity immediately.
The Dreadnaughts assure us that the murderer or murderers will soon be caught and 'broken into de liddle squishy bits'.