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> Lucanic Observer: Pallidmortis Still Continues To Be Dead
7/8/2010 1:36 PM EST
Lucanic Observer: Pallidmortis Still Continues To Be ...
From the 'Lucanic Observer', the temporary resistance newspaper of the Knights of Freeport:
PALLIDMORTIS STILL CONTINUES TO BE DEAD
FREEPORT - Padllidmortis, the traitorous former Lord Commander of the Knights of Freeport, still continues to be dead. New evidence uncovered by the third cavalry division suggests that the incompetent erudite continues to be a corpse. Dead. And unable to influence events in Freeport.
"Wes sends ours best mens to investigates, a teams of fives tops Knights"
said the cunning sage-general Masq of the second brigade during an official press conference. He detailed the mission to check out the tomb of the fallen traitor, stressing that the dead and unmoving body body of Pallidmortis had been seen by multiple knights:
"Alls twelves of da mens wes sends says dems sees da body."
"Da entires squads dat wes send, musts have beens twenty, dems says dems sure it heems body"
the general emphasised, guaranteeing that the cities' most brilliant minds had studied the corpse of the deceased to make sure that it was, in fact, Pallidmortis.
"Fiftys mens. Fiftys. Yus /got/ to believes fifys mens dat sees a body. Dat bastards, heems DEAD."
Free Citizens in the streets are expressing relief at the continued death of the traitor, spontaneously offering gift baskets with patriotic brands of liquor to passing Knights. True patriots are encouraged to follow this example. With the threat of Pallidmortis still non-existant, the brave defenders of Freeport can afford to drink a little pick-me-up now and then.
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