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ntvr2 (Applicant) 1/11/2011 6:11 PM EST : Damaged.
Posts: 40


Took a minute for it to really sink in. She had fallen out of a window something like twelve stories up. The glass was all around her, like a glimmering halo in the sun. Everything hurt, some in the special way that said they were broken or ruptured. A groan and a hand to block out the sun later she remembered it wasn't a fall; more along the lines of a punch and a stumble backward.

She rubbed at her chest, felt the broken ribs and tried to crack her neck. No good, that was broken too. "Wonderful." she said to herself and closed her eyes, laid there for the second or nine it took for things to set themselves back to order again. Wished her fast healing numbed the unreal agony as well.

Seven sat up in the little crater she had plowed into and shifted to her side, got to her hands and knees. Blood dripped from Lord knows where as she pushed herself to her feet and held her hands over her knees. Deep breaths, deep calming breaths; get the oxygen back to the brain. She wondered how long she'd been out, if she had gone into shock. Who knew? Little crowd had come too, gasped at her when she stood.

Figured they were gasping out of disappointment, crowds always wanted a meat wagon and gore; wanted to get the chance to act like fools in the background of local news. Seven snorted in some air, mucus made it sound gross and she spat the stuff that came into her throat. A wad of nasty slapped the ground and she stood up straight again. Felt her back crack from her rear end up to the base of her skull, was a lovely feeling.

Taking a step or two forward felt exceptional. Being grabbed by some kind of lunatic linebacker from behind, lifted into the air and charged into the side of a building sure didn't. Maybe it was the wall Seven was busily being ground into or the bravado back talk from the lunatic, whichever; she knew where she was. Knew what she was doing, remembered who was doing their best to tenderize her like a piece of steak.

"Come on." Seven said between grunts, "Thought you were strong, Stratostrike."

A rage filled snarl brought a stronger push. Thats right, Seven. Piss him off and give him some motivation to hurt you some more. "That it?" she asked, her lips fish-faced against the granite of the building.

He screamed and dragged her face up the wall, left some of it there in the process. She was in the air for a minute and thought she saw a rabbit in the clouds. Then she was back in her crater again, felt something else break and twist inside her chest. Her femur broke in two and pierced through her thigh. Hurt like hell and she had no trouble letting everyone know about it. Stratostrike stomped on her head, shut her up.

He was babbling at her too, three hundred pounds of ugly on her head made it count for nothing. Her orbital gave in, eye not much later. As it ran out of her closed lid and across her nose she thought of the men in her life, how she had broken one's heart. Betrayed him with a kiss. Her nose broke and most of the teeth under his foot cracked free, swam about in her mouth. The pain was blinding and she saw white; felt her heart racing.

Remembering the forbidden fireplace kiss was enough motivation to jerk her elbows, release the catch in her arms and unleash her claws. A shot of pain came as they ripped out of her skin and she stabbed the living daylights out of Stratostrike's leg. He fell back screaming like a child soprano singing sensation.

Seven dug herself out of the hole, heard someone vomit at the sight of her and rushed Stratostrike with everything she had left. She stabbed and slashed for all she worth, thanked God the whole time for the taunts breaking the  concentration Stratostrike needed to sustain his invulnerability. When he was a bloody mess of heaving chest and begs she collapsed on him, looked back to the hole he had put her into. Could see the eyes of death looking back at her, she had escaped them again.

The hands of the crowd pulled her away from Stratostrike and held her up. She closed her eyes, let the blackness come. Enjoyed the dream of running free in a wheat field, saw her forbidden lover bent over a motorcycle in the distance. Sweet sweat lined muscles worked over the engine and he rose and looked to her. He wiped his brow and a smile adorned his face, a smile she longed to kiss whenever the dream let her go.

- - -

Hope it was entertaining. Have always written in private, if its terrible; let me know and I'll get rid of it.

Warmest wishes;


Lightnyng (Applicant) 1/11/2011 6:54 PM EST : RE: Damaged.
Posts: 929

This was good. I liked the imagery and the 'feel'.  You could feel the damage to her as it occurred, and some sense of why there was such violence in the scene.  A lot of the biggest fights start over the smallest things or misunderstandings.  I like the inclusion of the crowd as that background halped make the scene.  Good stuff.

Elianta (Council) 1/11/2011 11:34 PM EST : RE: Damaged.
The Sunflower
Posts: 1386

This was fun to read! It was just gory enough to be interesting, but not squicky;D

Characters: Zoe Elianta Patchwork Medley Sa'Rosha Sunflower Sword

Zero Grid (Member) 1/12/2011 12:26 PM EST : RE: Damaged.

Zero Grid
Posts: 75

I got to agree. Was a joy to read. The descriptors of the fight were just right to draw you in and feel a part of what she was experiencing. 

Great job!  don't be shy about sharing more

Characters: Zero Grid Phaseview Shademere Avian Storm

ntvr2 (Applicant) 1/13/2011 1:56 PM EST : RE: Damaged.
Posts: 40

Thank you very much, Lightnyng, Elianta and Zero Grid. Really appreciate you being so kind. Will take some of the things you said online into consideration for the next time I write something. May not be for quite a long time so don't hold your breath!

Warmest wishes;


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