12/18/2008 4:04 AM EST
*copy and pasted from the barnyard board at the request of "Foofy"*
Here, I was minding my own business, allowing my hobbit-slave transport me as I maintained the security of my domain. I've been feeling my age lately - but am fortunate to have beasts of burden to do my bidding.
When all of a sudden, a band of hobbit-slaves showed up and wrapped me up in a piece of sheepskin!
I could not believe the behavior of these creatures! They had no idea how beings of their low social status are supposed to behave, not only did they not cringe and cower at me, they used the most cowardly tactics and tried to subdue ME! Unbelievable!
There was the lazy one that sat on me. And the female that did most of the wrapping. The one that foolishly tried to dull my claws, apparently not realizing that it is my teeth which are my main weapon!
In fact, his filing actually helped me! I can run twice as fast now! It is unfortunate that he escaped before I was able to fully vent my fury on him, but i did sink a tooth into the female before she fled beyond my reach.
The bossy one will also feel my wrath someday, for I wait at the gates to my domain, watching, and will draw blood whenever they draw near!
I swear my oath as master of this farm - They WILL feel my bite!
The four hobbits involved know who they are, and anytime they walk through the Hobbiton/Bywater crossroads they feel a sharp pain in an ankle or heel. If they are quick enough, they may see a tiny dog dodging back behind the stone gate that leads to Cranford's Farm. If they stay far enough away, they might catch sight of him crouched at the gate, glaring at them malevolently.
12/18/2008 6:13 AM EST
Administrator of Antiquities and Accoutrements
*washes pee off his hands and trousers*
12/19/2008 3:41 AM EST
*Bilcome enjoys an ale at the Ivy Bush Inn*
"Another crisis averted!"
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Purple Dragon (Public)