As I was tossing back my last Cosmo of the night, I began thinking about what makes the High Society Order so exceptional. Our virtue? Our loyalty to our city? Our unflinching bravery in the face of evil?

Hell no, it's our MAD PLANKING SKILLZ.


Which is why I'm declaring the first ever HSO Screenshot Contest! (...That I know of!) Want to know how you can win 100 million of the Captain's influence? Listen up!

1. Use the new "swoon" emote in-game and take a screenshot of your character planking!
2. Post the screenshot in the "PLANKING CONTEST!" thread, in the General Discussion section of our forums. Or, just send it to me at CaptInjury@gmail.com, and I'll post it for you.
3. Bask in your newly found glory!

Deadline is July 25th, two weeks from today! 100 million influence goes to the winner, and 50 million goes to the runner-up! That's a lot of tailor sessions!

Anticipated FAQ:

Q. How do I get the swoon emote?
A. You can purchase the swoon emote using Empyrean or Astral Merits earned from the Incarnate Trials. Just visit the merit vendors in Ouroboros!

Q. OH GOD That's too hard/too grindy/planking is lame/planking killed my grandma and now I'm emotionally scarred!
A. FINE. DON'T plank. But your screenshot better be damned funny! You can still enter the contest, but you'll have to suffer the agony of being the oddball in the unbelievably awesome planking in-crowd. And don't our children deserve better?

Q. What about us group plankers?
A. Hey, go for it. You'll all have to split the prize money if you win, though.

Q. And who is eligible for this grand event?
A. Any member of the HSO supergroup, including officers, excluding me!

Q. How will our planking screenies be judged?
A. Good question. I guess the same way one judges ART. As in, subjectively, and after knocking back a few cocktails. By me. Points for creativity and humor.

"Overall, yeah, I have to say I'm proud of what the HSO has done here," chuckled Major Meltdown as he wiped a rancid bit of demon residue off his suit. His satisfaction was well justified. After a fruitless three-day standoff between the PPD and a group of Circle of Thorns cultists, all hope for negotiations were off. And then the High Society Order arrived on the scene. Twenty minutes later, hostages were rescued, portals to the Underworld were sealed, and three long-lost artifacts of untold power were returned to the capable hands of the M.A.G.I. - all thanks to the diplomatic skills the HSO has become famous for.

Among the trio was Sir Paw, who recounted his past experiences with the occult and demonic forces. "The trick to negotiating with demons is lots and lots of punching, really. You've just got to speak their language. After that, they'll agree to just about anything."

Doctor Boi, the group medic and mentalist, shared photos of the encounter with the press. It is contrary to Paragon Times' policy to reprint images with excessive amounts of violence and rude gestures, but he begged and begged, so hey.

Two of Paragon's own were detained on Saturday evening after viciously and senselessly attacking the largest Jell-O mold in the known universe.

"Ol' Jiggly was jus' sittin' there, mindin' his own business," detailed a crusty old local. "And then these two fellers in pajamas start screaming about Hammer-dawn or what have ya, and before ya know it, the whole damn neighborhood is up in flames."

Both suspects were arrested and held for the night in the county jail on charges of vandalism. One of the two, under the pseudonym of Captain Injury, was transferred to St. Martha's Home for the Distressed after rambling endlessly about giant killer amoebas. The other, a minor who only answered to Doctor Boi, was released into his mother's custody the next day. She told reporters she was "disappointed" with her son's antics, and assured them he would be sent to bed without dinner that night.

The High Society Order
&
The High Society Alliance
are now one!