1.    Have you ever created a chick toon just so that you can watch your ass jiggle when you run?

2.    Does your tanking ability improve in direct proportion to the amount of scotch you’ve consumed?

3.    Do the words “You’ll feel a little pressure” followed immediately by the snap of a latex glove fill you with deep dread?

4.    Is putting on pants "just a waste of good gaming time"?

If the answer to the above questions is not only “Yes” but “Hell Yeah!” then you may be a prime candidate to join “Silent Lucidity”, or perhaps intensive psychotherapy.

Our guild motto “Plena anguillis est navis volans mea” says all you need to know about us.

We don’t take the easy path. We push our toons to the breaking point and then we laugh at each other for breaking them.  We believe in the power of humiliation and abject failure and use these primal elements to propel our group forward.   If we bang our heads against the wall long enough the pain will end.  We won’t be the first to defeat every raid mob, but we’ll have a hell of a party when we do.   Even better, we’ll have a hell of a party WHILE we do!

Our core beliefs include:

·         If you ain’t dying then you ain’t trying.

·     When in doubt "Taunt the F****rs!"

·     Improperly taunted F****rs often result in little magey-meatballs.

·        Meatballs go well with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

·         Me like meatballs, make me want fight more.

Bear in mind that having four fully geared top level toons will not get you laid and the Kama Sutra is not the level 51 Assassin skill.  If you must always be #1 and flaunt your pwnage of others in computer games then Silent Lucidity is not the guild for you, but might we suggest the arm wrestling championship at the local KinderCare.  I hear Suzie is a real bruiser.  Just remember if you stroke your e-peen too much it’ll stick like that.

We're looking for, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, Arsenal gooners, Leafs fans and Methodists.

If you think you have what it takes to join our clan, personally I think you’re a couple fries short of a happy meal, but what the hell, fill out an app.  There’s a link around here somewhere.

  - Testikleez, Minister of Propaganda and Internet Enlightenment