The Family Pilch
tiny! Join up and help us grow.
18 as we make use of many adult themes. And swear like troopers.
Any, really, but no pure
bloods! We have one elf-type but she’s more like a pet. You’ll have to have a
bloody good reason for us to accept you sheevra/vela.
RPVP. We’re hardly RP Nazis, but we do like guildies to stay in character.
Website: Yup. It's Guildportal.
Join us: http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?ForumID=1626345&PostCount=37&GuildID=343312&TabID=2874080#forums
If a traveller were to stray
too far from the more civilised regions of the world, he might find himself in
the degenerate backwoods where he might hesitate to ask directions from the
gnarled, furtive folk who stare silently at strangers and give the distinct
impression of resentment or even hostility toward outsiders.
If local folk were given to gossip, they might
remark on the number of children born to Zebadiah and his sister Gurtie. They
could mention stubborn temperament of the livestock that Zebadiah Junior
trains, or the peculiar quality of the meat Pappa Pilch brings to market. They
might warn our traveller to avoid the Pilch Farmhouse, for many of the
'outsiders' who go to visit are never seen or heard of again. They perhaps
would also note that it is after occasions like these that Pappa Pilch tends to
bring the best of his 'special' meat to market. Maybe they would even whisper
of the nameless rites performed atop the rumbling hills on the darkest nights, when
the earth itself seems to groan and the livestock falls silent.
Sadly for our traveller the locals are not
given to gossip, for country folks look after their own, and are wary of
outsiders. What business is it of theirs if some damnfool stranger pokes his
nose where it don't belong?
The Family Pilch is a small roleplaying guild in the game Mortal Online. The
Family are a bunch of psychopathic inbred cannibals who don't take kindly to
non-locals. The inspiration comes from film, TV and literature including The
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, The League of Gentlemen, Cabin
Fever, The Dunwich Horror, House of 1000 corpses, The Darling Buds of May,
Deliverance and many others.
"I just wanna raise me pigs an' make a
pretty penny at market. Mind you, I loves goin' a-huntin with me boys."
The Family intends to engage in PvP and PvE when possible. Ma Pilch is always
asking the boys to go get more shiny things. We will be organising regular
'hunts' for 4-legged and 2-legged prey...
"We keeps to ourselves an' looks after
each other. We don't need nobody else."
As a small, introverted community, the Family is highly unlikely to be seeking
or joining any alliance. We will probably want some trade deals, though. This
could lead to some interesting situations. "Oh yes, sirs, only the
finest pork. Nice and tender... oh look. Why would anyone want to tattoo a pig?
I'll just be goin' now."
"You ain't from aroun' these parts, are
ya? Yer kind ain't welcome here, you'd best leave afore pa get's here..."
The Family Pilch detests 'outsiders' and will go out of its way to destroy
colonies of them. They also have a vehement dislike of pure-bloods of any race.
Woe betide any pureblood who happens to step foot on Pilch territory, or any
suspicious outsider. We will attack anyone we see near our territory,
regardless of guild affiliations, criminal status or renown. Consequences be
"Ahhh Junior's growed up big an' strong
ter help Pa with runnin' the farm. Now if only we could find 'im a nice no-tail
he could take to wife... mind you, if Ma says the girl ain't right, then I
guess the other boys and girls can have some fun."
Zeb Junior is Ma and Pa's pride and joy, and it is their dream to find a nice
pure-blood human to be his wife. Any potential candidates have to pass Ma's
approval. Those that don't match up to her strict requirements are handed over
to the Pilch girls and boys to do with as they wish.
The Family Pilch are currently operating out of Bakti if you
would like to join us for some unsettling RP. We’ll be moving out when we’re a
bit more self-sufficient.
We need a few more peeps to help us become the nightmare cannibals
we want to be! We’re actually quite a friendly bunch within the guild and we’re
quite willing to help new players out when we can.
Sign up now and Molly might even give you a kiss! You lucky