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Lanaliathe 5/20/2014 11:57 PM
*sneaks in, drops a wall of text, and runs away* :)
Jaggie 3/20/2014 10:39 PM
aww... *hugs and cookies for zolt*
zoltando 3/20/2014 9:44 PM
ddo doesnt seem to want to work for me , curse you DDO!
Intayazz 2/4/2014 8:00 PM
Don't worry, we're grading on a curve. I'm sure you'll do better than half the folks!
Aluatris 2/1/2014 1:02 AM
Test!? I'm so not prepared...
Smudge 1/31/2014 5:18 AM
Hi there!
Old_Swamper 1/30/2014 8:20 PM
*Waves!*
Intayazz 1/29/2014 10:13 PM
*taps the mic* Test, test
zoltando 12/25/2013 7:32 PM
Merry Christmas!
Lanaliathe 12/25/2013 11:44 AM
Merry Christmas everyone! *hugs all round*
Aluatris 12/21/2013 10:30 PM
And the award for Worst Timing. Ever. goes to... ;) Sorry to leave you two hanging!
zoltando 11/29/2013 2:29 PM
I hope everyone had a happy turkey day
Sunky 11/23/2013 2:40 PM
yay!
Intayazz 11/23/2013 8:39 AM
Yay!
Aluatris 11/22/2013 8:14 PM
Dearly beloved, Ready your dancing shoes...
Jaggie 11/20/2013 5:58 AM
I should be on DDO today around 7pm eastern if anyone would like to join me.
Lanaliathe 11/18/2013 11:49 AM
That would be nice... "I want these abilities..." *poof* Done!
zoltando 11/16/2013 3:51 AM
It works by magic *jazzhands*
Lanaliathe 11/15/2013 5:09 PM
I logged in a couple of weeks back, took one look at the new enhancement trees and logged back out... Haven't been back since! Can't be bothered to figure out how that works right now.
Nklos 11/12/2013 7:26 PM
Update 20. https://www.ddo.com/en/update-20-release-notes

Forums : Official Open ROLE-PLAY Forum > Ice and Fire (backstory)
538048955_Inactive (Applicant) 4/19/2007 7:11 PM EST : Ice and Fire (backstory)

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((Takes place after the search for Varro, and the point at which Varro and Uxor come upon each other outside the Phoenix. After Sho reintroduces himself to the guild, Varro requests for Uxor to come talk with him))

*There was a certain amount of joy she felt, to offset the awkward lack of conversation between them, as Uxor walked alongside Varro through the streets. Seeing that he was alive and well was comforting. He'd said nothing further since requesting her to walk with him, and she in turn wrote nothing. Instead, she basked in the knowledge that despite her most stupid of actions...
despite all the doubts...
despite Mekari's malicious deceptions...
he was safe.
They arrived at his porch, and Uxor hesitated to follow him up the stairs. Varro stopped and looked over his shoulder at her, as she stood uncertainly at the bottom step. He spoke again, but still in their coded language of Auren and Quori.*
Varro: [I know what I said before, but I'm asking you to come in.]
*Thoughts of his command to her to be gone were fresh in her mind, but that was not her only reason to pause. Momentarily, she questioned if it really were him, or if it were a trap waiting inside. Then she remembered the words of her master, and she noted no overpowering feeling of fear - other than her own nervousness at what conversation was in store. He stood holding the door open to her, and waved a hand to encourage her to come up. He couldn't blame her entirely for not trusting his intentions*
Varro: [Enter. Please.]
*Uxor collected her willpower, and slowly made her way into Varro's home.*
*Once inside, Uxor cautiously looked round, inching towards the chair and table in the front room. Meanwhile, Varro closed the door behind them. He then walked to his bedroom, peered in, and closed the door. The same was done in the guest bedroom. Not entirely certain of his purpose, Uxor waited for him to indicate that she was to sit. He walked towards her at the table, pulled out a scroll, and held out his hand. When she tried to take a seat, he motioned for her to stop*
Varro: [No, not that. I want you to hold onto me.] *he held out his hand again. Getting up from the chair, she angled her head, not understanding him. Uxor pulled out her own scrolls. Initially she thought he'd gotten his scroll out for her to write on, but that was not the case apparently. Very briefly her eyes roamed to the scroll on the table to try and gather the context of it. She meanwhile wrote out* "Hold onto you? Why?"
Varro: [I don't expect you to know why, or even to be agreeable about this. Just please hold onto me. I will explain afterwards, alright? I wouldn't do this if it weren't necessary.]
*Teleport. She recognized the symbols, though she had no way of using such a scroll herself. Her stance went a little defensive, and Varro followed her gaze to the scroll on the table.*
Varro: [I'm not trying anything underhanded Uxor. Here, look ... if you're worried, touch my face. It's me.] *He held his chin up, awaiting to be prodded and poked, as seemed to be the custom of about half the city of late* [If you don't believe me - which you rightly should not - check for yourself.]
*Uxor reached out and yanked upon the hair on his chin, plucking a few strands out.*
Varro: OW! What in the name of all gods?! *his hands flew up to nurse the irritation of his soul patch being disrupted.* I said TOUCH not wound! It's bad enough you've got the entire town in an uproar so that I endure my face being handled like a carnival petting exhibit.
*Uxor was relieved by that reaction. At least he sounded to be in his usual mood.* "Sorry" *she wrote* "I just don't understand."
*He reverted back to their code speak*
Varro: [Look, if I tell you now, it would negate my reasons for doing it in the first place. I'm trying to help, and right now what we need is...]
*he considered a moment, before motioning for her writing stick. Knowing no other way of getting answers, but also knowing how much easier it was to bluff in writing, reluctantly she handed it over.*
Varro: [What we need is this] *and he wrote the word "privacy."*
*They volleyed the writing stick then. How odd it was that he couldn't just say what he meant in their private language, and it worried her.*
Uxor: "Why are you writing?"
Varro: "Because I can't take the chance of being overheard"
Uxor: "Could we not just write entirely then?"
Varro: "That is your speciality, not mine. I will say that you will thank me afterwards, alright? Let's not give her any more time to catch onto my intent." *again, he held out his hand to Uxor.*
*"Her." Uxor had a sudden understanding of whom he was meaning. Granted, it only added more riddles to her already confused mind, but she knew that at last, there was a possibility for answers. On this hope, and the hope that Varro was willing to be reasonable with her, she took his hand.*
*When her eyes refocused, and the world steadied under her feet again, she saw they were in a strange stone hall she'd never been in before. She was about to set to questions, when a white doorway shimmered into existence in front of them. Varro motioned for her to walk towards it, but she recoiled her neck, liking this even less than the teleport.*
Varro: [Here, I'll go first. I promise it's not going to hurt you.]
*She wrinkled her nose, once more turning to her parchment to write* "I know what a Dim Door is Varro, I'm not just an ignorant meat shield for you magic wielders. I just want to know where you are taking me before I leap blindly through."
*He folded his arms across his chest, looking down in thought* Fair enough. I'd be the same way after what's gone on. *He stepped towards the doorway* [If you want to work past this... if you want your explanations... then you'll come through the door. But, I won't force you to. I'll be on the other side waiting.] *and his figure was consumed by the white light of the door as he stepped back through it.*
*Uxor glowered at the door. There was no way to know where it was open to. There was also limited time to decide. If she didn't go through, and the door closed, then so too closed the possibility of reconciliation between them. This she could not allow, not after all she'd come to see and know. One way or another, going forward would give her answers, for good or ill. This did not mean she had to walk like a lamb to the slaughter however, and so she kept her arm upon the hilt of her sword, ready to draw it if need arose, as she passed through the door.*
*The vastness of the space,  compared with the stuffy stone hall she'd departed, caused her to immediately draw blade. She was out in the open, thus anything from any direction could come for her. The air was hot, and it was very bright around her. The ground under her feet was unstable, and so she braced herself. Her eyes were trying to adjust to the surroundings, as she whirled to face a voice talking close by*
Easy, easy, you're safe Uxor! I told you nothing will hurt you! For the love of all gods, don't slash me!
*Focus came then on a form that was Varro, who had his arms before him, shielding from any impending strike. Everything was so bright. At last her eyes adjusted fully to the place, and she saw broad, flat open sands, with hills beyond. It very much looked the picture of 'the middle of nowhere.' Another large shape, which she'd taken to be a threat initially, turned out to be a scrappy tree, clinging to life on the open plain. Uxor sheathed her blade, but her expression was unmistakably clear. Explanation was needed.*
Varro: I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you where we were going. Then she'd follow. AT least this way, it will take her time to figure out I'm gone, and even more to know where. More over, in this place, if she were invisible I could STILL see her coming. *He kicked at the sands under their feet.* Invisible she could do... traceless, she could not.
*Uxor mouthed the word 'Mekari,' to which he nodded*
Varro: Our private speech works well, but she is fluent enough in Quori to gather context from our talk unfortunately. If you and I are to have words, I needed to take us somewhere away from prying eyes - utterly. Somewhere that was easy to keep an eye on.
*Uxor had already started to write a bit on the page, but Varro interrupted her*
Varro: First thing's first, we're not going to stand here in the blazing sun. We're also not going to stand. *he went over to the small tree, gesturing for her to follow. From his pack, he pulled out two cloaks and a robe, spreading them on the sands* 
Varro: Not quite a chair, but better than working sand into that armor, no?
*Uxor came over to situate herself on one of the cloaks. The little tree, sparse as it was, still managed to soften the directness of the sun's rays.*
*She finished what she'd started to write, and he didn't interrupt her. The page bled with question marks. She handed him the page* "What is going on? Who is Mekari, what does she want, and why did she tell me that she killed you? More over, I know what you told them, but where have you been? What is it she doesn't want us to find out? Is she behind Endaria's death? WHAT is she? Why does she wear that disguise? Why are you hiding from her too? *she would have written more, but realized in just those lines much was there for him to answer. He read over the page entirely before he spoke.*
Varro: I will answer any questions you like Uxor, so long as you first answer a question of mine about you. If you can answer me truthfully, then I will speak of it all. At length. No secrets, no half truths, and no semantics. Agreed?
*So much he asked of her before giving back, but this was his way. He knew he could trust her word, while she was hesitant to admit the same towards him. Still feeling no surge of fear, she nodded agreeably.*
Varro: Good. Now... I was told that you are, in point of fact, able to speak? That you have spoken even in my absence?
*To this she nodded. Not proudly, but those were facts. Mostly.*
Varro: Then why aren't you speaking now?
Uxor: *she wrote on a fresh side of her paper* "Because I can't. It's hard to explain, but it's a physical reason."
Varro: Then explain, and tell me the reason.
Uxor: *she tried to think of how to tactfully ... or even sensibly... explain what he was asking of her* "I do not speak, because that was my choice. I took an oath to silence, for self enlightenment. I broke that oath while you were away, and I returned to my master to receive punishment. The reason I cannot talk is because I have not fully healed. Even if I WANTED to break my oath right now Varro, I cannot."
Varro: What was the punishment?
Uxor: "It is not the punishment that prevents it, it is the vow. At onset of taking the vow, a severing of song is performed.' *she patted her throat.* "but this time, since I had broken the vow, I had to perform the severing of song on myself."
Varro: You...cut off your own tongue?
*She shook her head 'no'* "The tongue is not the origin of song, you above all people know that Varro. It is only a tool to shape that which comes from out the throat."
*Varro shuttered visibly at that notion. Either her vocal cords, or her voice box entirely, either notion made his skin crawl.* Sorry, I just.... can't imagine going through life without that. Much less doing that to myself.
Uxor: "I don't expect you to understand. This was my choice. There is magic that can restore the damage, as I encountered in my ventures over time. But this does not relieve me of my vow. It merely tests my devotion. So yes, I spoke. And now no, I cannot...lest someone use magic to regenerate that which is severed. Even then, I would not speak. It is not yet time for that." *In truth, resuming writing was difficult. In only that short time of speaking once more, it was so easy to revert to trying to form speech again, but the sound dead in her throat was a harsh reminder.*
Varro: Why take such a vow in the first place? I've never asked before, but since I'm about to lay all in the open for you, I felt I should at least be permitted that.
*Uxor nodded to that notion* "I needed direction and discipline in my life when I was freed of slavery. I had to learn that there are ways to be heard without need to speak. It is a true test of self discipline, and an experience to learn intimately of yourself. One day, when I understand and find that which I seek, I will be free of the service to my vow."
Varro: Understood...somewhat. Can't say I completely agree with that, as I find writing or singing to be a far better exercise in self discovery, but matters of taste are not for dispute. I will answer you as promised....where to start...
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538048955_Inactive (Applicant) 4/20/2007 4:41 PM EST : RE: Ice and Fire (backstory)

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Varro: I suppose that I should start off with warning for you. The more I tell you, the more likely it is that you are entangled deeper in my affairs. This could be dangerous. It seems if we're to continue working together though, that we're going to have to trust each other. So know that I'm telling you as a show of good faith, not to try and catch you up in danger. If I can avoid bringing harm to you by leaving certain details out, then I will. But that is your call.
*She considered his words a moment, then wrote* "Lucian, you don't have to hide anything from me anymore. I know about the sword. I've learned a portion of Mekari's involvement with you. I just want to hear the truth from you directly."
*Varro furrowed his brow at the note when she handed it to him. This was followed immediately by an outburst of laughter from him, enough so that he rolled onto his back, gasping for air. Uxor slouched a little, not understanding his reaction in the least. He calmed himself enough to speak* I'm sorry but... This *he gestured to the paper* This is what you really think?
*When she nodded most seriously a 'yes,' he chuckled still* Amazing. The man can still worm his way into my life for influence, even in death. Uxor, why would you think that I am "Lucian?" Who told you that, Mekari?
*She motioned for the paper back as she shook her head 'no'* "I saw your portrait in the archives, when we were researching Mekari."
Varro: I can see how you might think so then. Well, you've decided for me which of the questions to answer first. You've been trying to force the pieces of a puzzle into alignment. You have the right pieces, just the wrong picture you're trying to match them to. You didn't see my portrait in your snooping. That was the late Lucian d'Deneith. I look more like him than Mekari. But if you ever saw her face, and stopped to consider, not all of my features are Lucian's.
*Uxor was speechless - and more than merely by the oath. The image of Mekari's true face was unmistakably burned into her memory, and now she could see what she hadn't noticed before:
How fair skinned Varro was; how blue his eyes were; how lanky he was; how graceful. With a good deal of uncertainly, she wrote the word* "Parents?"
Varro: Unfortunately, yes.
Uxor: "You're a" *she paused* "Deneith noble??"
Varro: No. *he held out a stern finger* There is a distinct difference between being a noble, and merely being born of one. Especially in the eyes of a House.
Uxor: "That is why you hate them? House D?"
Varro: No to that as well Uxor. I do have quite the resentment in that regard, but my reasons are more complex than that.
Uxor: "I don't understand. In fact, I feel more confused now than if you'd not told me. If Mekari is your mother, why is she after you? Why are you hiding from her? Why did she tell me she killed you??"
Varro: Because, she's utterly and completely insane. I don't mean that jokingly,  sarcastically, or even condescendingly. She really IS mad. Unfortunately, in a wise way. Granted I didn't know what her entire plan was, and it's always pointless to second guess it, but I have to admit, it did get you to talk to me.
*Uxor nearly socked him in the arm at hearing that, instead forcing her effort to pen* "YOU KNEW? You knew the whole time? I was worried sick! I had the whole city combing the waterworks for your body!!"
Varro: Look, I said she is insane. I didn't 'know' what she was up to, only that she had a plan. I wanted to find a way for us to start talking again. I couldn't really figure out how that was going to happen. So Mekari had an idea of how to force us to talk apparently. She just doesn't think of things in terms of sensible. To her, the ends always justify the means... but she's usually correct in her planning, even if it is outlandish. Having the whole fellowship trying to skin her alive was of little concern to her, compared to getting me out of my fog. If it makes you feel better, to prove to me that I still have the will to live, she tried to kill me to see if I'd actually try and save myself.
Uxor: "That is absurd! You mean to tell me your own mother does such things, but in your interest. That's like saying...I can't even think of anything it compares to but... she's your mother Varro!"
Varro: Uxor, what is your favorite belonging? Something you cherish... that you'd never leave it behind or wish to see damaged. Consider that this is still just an object. Property. That is what I am to Mekari. I am her prize. Her valuable gem. But you could not say that you 'loved' your item, any more than you can say that my mother has 'love' for me as a traditional mother would. That is the reach of her insanity. You say she is out to get me? No. She is here to watch over her item. She loves me like a child loves a purely bred pet. Anything that threatens something that pleases her she will not stand for. Hence her insistence on being involved in my life, whether I want her here or not. She is not so forceful as to try and steer me directly. Her preference is to influence in other ways than to merely tell me what to do.
Uxor: "If she is your mother, are you a....whichever of the things she is?"
Varro: Me? No, I'm afraid I am but a mere mortal man Uxor, and very much of this plane fully, if that is what you imply, as was my father. 
Uxor: "So you mean to tell me that Mekari came all the way here, risked everything she has, just so she could play babysitter to you?"
Varro: If it makes no sense, then yes, I'd say that's an accurate description of her motives. Though only in part. There is some reason for her to be here , I just have no idea what it is. She never tells me. Probably better that way.
Uxor: "Is she dangerous? I could say much of what she's done has been in self defense but, is she dangerous on her own?"
Varro: Yes. Most certainly she is. If it suits her larger picture, she will sacrifice you. The danger is knowing her. With the exception of me. Again, I am her prize. That is why I've kept you so in the dark. I didn't want her to find a plan for you. Apparently she did anyway. I have to ask though Uxor, why are you so afraid of her? Did she do something to you?
*She shook her head* "I just feel that way when I see her. I think it has something to do with what was done to me to take my memories perhaps? I just am overcome by feelings of fear when I see her. From the first time I saw her, when she came into the guildhall even."
Varro: So that's what's got you acting all stupid of late?
*She wrinkled her nose at him* "I am not acting 'stupid' I was being concerned. Some stranger that paralyzes me with fear shows up, and you walk down the street with them as if they're your best friend"
Varro: You mean as if they were my mother *he crossed his arms*
Uxor: "That's not the point! I was watching out for you."
Varro: What is it that has you thinking you always need to 'watch' me? If I was in danger, I would have said something or made a signal or... something. Instead, you took it in your own hands to act like my guardian in matters that were way outside your expertise.
Uxor: "That's not it. I was" *she huffed, trying to think of what to write.*
Varro: You were what? What rational was there in that? You didn't ask me how I felt. Didn't bother to approach me directly about the matter. Didn't even consider that things might not be as they appear. So what were you that possibly instills that sort of breakdown in our communication levels Uxor?
*Cold. It was the most immediate sensation he was able to perceive when he found she was pressing her lips to his. Whatever further banter he had prepared vanished abruptly. The motion was quick, and still. As quickly as it had happened, she had pulled back, and was staring down at her paper in her lap*
*Uxor just couldn't think of any words to write that would explain to him what it was that was causing her to be as she was. Her mind had gone to the teachings of her master - that there were some things that expressed better than any words. She glanced up at Varro.*
*The figurative mask that Varro wore, to shield the outside world from gleaning his real sentiments on matters... a diplomatic tactic... was utterly shattered. He stared at her with either surprise or shock, openly and without acting. He was always acting, even in his most emotional moments. This look was almost worse to her than the look she recalled when he'd been irate with her in his home. This had been a mistake. Back down to her paper her eyes fell, and she wrote* "I'm sorry. I should not have done that. My feelings are inap"
*His mouth was so warm. She was met with the heat of it as he stilled her writing with one hand, and used his other hand to pull her head and face towards his, deeply and fully kissing her. At first, she almost jerked back from it.  She felt her face flush from chill to almost luke warm now, all the while marveling at just how heated his tongue felt. The parchment and writing stick fell away from her grip, and she allowed the sensations to consume more of her senses. There was something so... recognizable about the act;  some distant feeling of familiarity as she worked her mouth against his. The dejavu passed away from her focus, and now she let the passion take hold of her. She had longed for this, and the part of her rational that had stuffed the yearning away was pushed blatantly aside. There was only now. The want of him. There was only desire. Desire.
Desire for things we cannot attain, she heard herself say. Or was it her master's voice saying it? Desire caused suffering; rid yourself of desire, and you rid yourself of suffering. What was she doing?*
*In a panic over what was happening, Uxor pulled back from him, breaking off the kiss, groping for her papers. She kept shaking her head 'no.' Varro opened his eyes and furrowed his brows, gasping now for air for a different reason than laughing at her*
Varro: What?
Uxor: *she finally managed to get him clear of her enough to write* "This is wrong. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. This is wrong."
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538048955_Inactive (Applicant) 4/23/2007 1:29 PM EST : RE: Ice and Fire (backstory)

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Varro: Wrong... *he sat up a little* As in to say because of who we are, or because it is not what you want?
*Uxor grimaced at the question. The trouble was she wanted it too badly. There was so much difficulty in explaining this to him.* "It's not proper or fair. Besides, it's not about what I do or do not want. It is about what is right."
*He read her words, coming to steady his breathing again. After a moment, he reached out to tip her face back to looking at him. Until that moment, she hadn't realized that her gaze had been fixed upon the paper in her lap. Reluctantly she looked back to the bard, feeling his eyes searching hers for something*
Varro: Are you happy?
*Her brows worked together, and she tried to look down to write a reply, but he kept his fingers gingerly beneath her chin, preventing her from doing so.*
Varro: It is not a complicated answer I need, Uxor. Yes or no... are you happy?
*She shook her head 'no.'*
Varro: And did you feel unhappy doing that just now?
*Visibly she protested with her expression. The questions were not as simple as yes or no.*
Varro: I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that was unpleasant for you.
*She tried to look down again, but this time he leaned towards her, still catching her by the chin with his fingers. His nose brushed hers slightly, and she could all but sense the narrow distance between their lips. He remained there, and Uxor continued to try and stuff her feelings back behind that logical part of herself. The alluring warmth of his breath was muddling her efforts to suppress her quickened heart rate. Still he hovered, until she felt the slightest brush of the air against, as he spoke very softly. It was as if his words carressed her lips as he formed them.*
Varro: Tell me that this is not what you want. Forget what is 'right,' and tell me if you felt nothing. If you feel nothing now. I need you to show me this is not what you desire.
*Uxor had her eyes closed to try and focus on making her hands function. She couldn't see what she wrote, but painstakingly she scratched something out. He glanced down slowly to read it, still perilously close to her.*
Uxor: "Suffering is caused by desire for things we cannot have."
*He withdrew his fingers from beneath her chin.*
Varro: Well... then have me.
*Varro shut his eyes involuntarily at the exhilarating feel of coolness, as Uxor took his face in her hands, and gave into her passions. It felt good to be desired again. Behind her kiss, he could feel the yearning that drove her to nearly overwhelm him with her attentions - as if at any moment, he would dematerialize from her, and she was getting in all that she could now, while there was still time. He reveled in it. Many lips before had his graced in his time, but this was truly exotic to him. The chill of her, which slowly seemed to be coming to thaw a bit, only made it that much more thrilling. Dimly as he enjoyed, his mind picked over the situation. So this was what had been the matter with her. Though, if she wanted him so badly, why did she say nothing of it before? This brought him to recall her statement moments ago... that this was 'wrong.' Now it was Varro who broke from their kiss.*
Varro: I'm...glad we had this talk. *he grinned a bit, still savoring the return to physical attentions once more.* Now, who told you that you can't do this? Mekari? As I said before, put no weight in anything she says.
*Uxor also seemed to be regathering her composure, and he could see her scolding herself for their exchanges. To her writing she turned once more, now that he was permitting her the chance to explain at length.*
Uxor: "Mekari said nothing to me. This is just what I know. It doesn't matter what I want, it's the principle of things. You're still in mourning Varro, and this... this dishonors Endaria's memory." *she paused and her lips pressed with shame* "I dishonor her memory. This isn't fair to you."
Varro: I see. *he rubbed at the tuft of hair on his chin* So you're a better judge of what is fair to me than I am?
Uxor: "It's not like that. I only want to be a good friend to you. This is not being a good friend. This is me being selfish. I wanted to be truthful with you, but I don't want that to compromise your well being."
*He seemed to find something amusing, and sighed slightly*
Varro: I am tired of sulking Uxor. What's more, if this is something that makes you happy, and I'm uplifted by it, what its the harm in it? I don't need you to love me. I just simply need you to... be. Don't we deserve to be something other than miserable for a while, the two of us? I think we've endured both our shares of hardship, irritation, and pain. Besides, it's a good match... you want me, and I am rebounding. More perfect circumstances could not be asked for to suit our moods.
Uxor: "Varro that's absurd! You're suggesting that I should... use you? That we're to 'use' each other to find comfort? You're just upset. This was a very poor decision on my part."
Varro: On the contrary, this is the best news I've had for some time. I know I spoke a little rashly to you in anger before, but when I said I'd been entertaining company, I was bluffing. I'm lonely Uxor. It's nice to be needed again, and the type of need you have is different than I'm accustomed to. You apparently want me in a way that has been built out of caring. That makes it a very new experience for me, to be wanted for something apart from physicality... which also makes it all the more appealing.
Uxor: "But it's not right"
Varro: Well who cares?  So long as you and I are happy, what does it matter? Stop thinking of things in terms of right and wrong, and start thinking about yourself just this once. You're always acting to help others, and don't get me wrong, it is as noble quality. But it is also denies you of happiness. When was the last time you were not alone? You spend so much time in your duty that you fail to drink in the life that goes on around you. I've been failing in that too, but spending time out here with my thoughts has brought me to realize this. I didn't need to rip my own throat out to realize that I've been in a dire state for some time. If this is what helps us both to be rational pleasant people once more, so be it. Who is there to condemn us, hm?
*She mouthed the word 'Endaria'*
Varro: Ah yes, Endaria. Something else that I gave much thought to. It has been eight months since her loss. All of the time, my thoughts were to the fact that no one can find her in the afterlife. Then it dawned on me that it is equally as likely that she does not WANT to come back, and therefor, chooses to refuse contact in the beyond. Now, that might sound depressing, but knowing her as I do, she may well have had a very good reason to do that. Wishful thinking? Probably. But how am I to survive thinking of conspiracy and abandonment, when instead I can also weigh in the possibility that she sacrificed herself to protect me somehow. You above all others could understand that principle, no?
Uxor: "This is a bad time to ask this, but if I do not now, I will forget. I have too many questions for you. What is it that you don't want Mekari to tell me about your marriage to Endaria? I overheard her" *she scratched out 'I overheard her'* When I was eavesdropping on you when Mekari first came here, I heard her say that she had something she would tell me that you didn't want me to know about."
*Varro thought for a while, trying to place what conversation she might have been referring to, and seemed to at last come upon it*
Varro: It is not so much you in particular as just a matter that I kept private. Endaria was a stolen bride. She was arranged to be married to a Deneith nobleman, but she didn't want to wed him. I was a minstrel of the House at the time, an entertainer on commission. I'm a bit if a free spirit myself, so I couldn't blame her for feeling that way. So I helped her run away. Effectively, as it worked out over time, I took the man's bride for my own. It was not something I needed to be made public.
*Uxor nodded in understanding of this. Her line of questions and his talk of his meditative trip to the desert brought her to a conclusion*
Uxor: "It was you. You sent me the sword, didn't you? And the book"
*To this he nodded* Varro: I found them, and thought you could use something nice. Especially after our fight.
Uxor: "Why didn't you put that they were from you?"
Varro: Because I didn't think you would accept them knowing that they were from me, at the time anyway. I'm glad to see you've gotten use from them. *he nodded to the sword, which was at her hip*
Uxor: "I know you're feeling forlorn Varro, but we can't just charge into things...as far as 'you and I' goes. What if Endaria is able to be brought back?"
Varro: I think you're saying that because you were attracted to me when she was as yet still alive. Am I correct in my guess?
*Down to her lap her eyes fell. When he put it like that, it sounded worse than it felt in her heart. Some friend she was to Endaria*
Uxor: "As I said. I dishonor her."
Varro: What's more, you feel bad because now that she is not here, you have the capacity to be with me... if not now, eventually... and you think somehow that is your fault? You didn't kill her Uxor. You didn't wish her dead... did you? *he qurked a brow at her*
*Very adamantly she shook her head no, and wrote* "Never! I was happy for her. Yes, I was attracted to you, but that she had someone like you made me happy for her."
Varro: Easy, I was only kidding. I know you are not the sort to wish something like that on someone else. Always so serious. *He grinned, then his expression became more somber.* Look, if Endaria were to be back among the living, yes it would be complicated. But am I to spend the remainder of my days in misery on the chance that it will happen? If our places had been reversed, and it were me in the afterlife, I would want her to be happy, not rot at my tomb. Knowing that she did everything in her power to try and bring me back, I would have satisfaction. Do I intend to forget her? No. But I do intend to live my life. That is more than I can say for my frame of mind before, and I think seeing me like this now would please her far better than seeing me suffer. Now stop holding back. Life is around us like so much wine waiting for us to take the deepest drink we can. . . and we're both thirsty Uxor. Drink with me.
*It so frequently escaped her mind that he was a man who crafted words, and he was in true form once more. Therefor when he moved to kiss her this time, objection had died in her. He too had no thought to past or future. There was only now. Free and unchecked, one shared sentiment now ruled their minds. Lust.*
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